Ahh, it was the middle 1998 and I was 30 and sweating because I was in charge of Y2K remediation for 3 divisions of Georgia-Pacific (over 100 mills and plants and the Atlanta operation) and, to my thinking I was in way over my head. I cursed my bosses for believing in me at my then current age. We were way behind and digging up long retired people who might have source code on a floppy somewhere. The workplan was 3 inches thick. Truth was I was doing just fine, even well actually, but I didn't know it. I felt like a huge impostor and this impostor syndrome propelled me to be the checker and verifier of all things. At the same time I was running a business in Buckhead and working there in the evenings and weekends. I was certain I would be fired during first week of January, 2000.
I’m glad this was helpful, April. Even after you get the right degrees and the right jobs, there’s a lot of life to figure out and many mistakes to be made. You’re going to be fine!
yes! i have a number of friends who are heading to B school this fall, but for a lot of them i can sense it is delaying the inevitable which is making a claim on what direction is worth pursuing
I'm in the same boat, and catching myself looking through the career path of people in my "ideal" direction (on LinkedIn). And it seems linear many times. And I wonder how they knew exactly what they wanted to do from the beggining. But I think it's a bias, they likely tried around, saw what they liked, and then commited to it. And maybe don't even mention career detours on LinkedIn, that could also be the case.
Reminds me of this concept, that we constantly -at any era- feel that the world is worse than it used to be 20 years ago, because at least for the past we know how it played out at the end. Whereas for the present we don't. Which makes it infinitely scarier.
Great piece with a lot of truth to it. At 33, I love where I am in my career currently, and part of this affection is fueled by its almost-exclusively nonlinear path. Looking back, the COVID years were a crucial nexus that compelled me to ask myself how much work I was prepared to put in to build a life that energized me, even in the face of constant, ever-mutating uncertainty. Ultimately, I decided to keep it moving; in my mind, there was no other choice.
Six years on, I can see how that molten, singular desire to forge ahead spurred my own agentic cultivation, and I'm grateful to have learned such a valuable skill while I'm still relatively young. I feel like I can do anything now. In sum, riding out these fearful fits in youth can lead us down rich and meaningful paths if we are patient and consistent with ourselves.
At 30 I had a child after several years of infertility (so we were behind our peers who already had kids), and then 6 months later I took a more challenging and exciting job with more upward mobility (so I really had to put my nose to the grindstone from 9 to 5 on top of having an infant from 5 to 9). I was in the moat of low status two times over. It was hard, but I learned so much.
Why does it seem like every article written about this early to mid 30’s career transition/crisis is written by people who were making $250K and somehow still asking, “like, what's it all mean man?” Lmao. The humble brag of these people is so large it barely fits in the article
Because the people making $250k had invested $500k in their educations and were living in cities where rent + taxes + student loan payments—some people pay them back—sucked up 80% of their gross income, leaving them with little to spend on clothes or dates, and to feel as if they had little to brag about.
Your three options miss the mark for me. A week before my 30th birthday, my second child was born. My husband had his dream job and we just moved into a new house we built, literally. Today, we are happy grandparents. Pretty good, I think.
Blowing up your life in your 30s is underrated
Did you blow up your life in your 30s?
What did that look like?
How did things turn out?
Ahh, it was the middle 1998 and I was 30 and sweating because I was in charge of Y2K remediation for 3 divisions of Georgia-Pacific (over 100 mills and plants and the Atlanta operation) and, to my thinking I was in way over my head. I cursed my bosses for believing in me at my then current age. We were way behind and digging up long retired people who might have source code on a floppy somewhere. The workplan was 3 inches thick. Truth was I was doing just fine, even well actually, but I didn't know it. I felt like a huge impostor and this impostor syndrome propelled me to be the checker and verifier of all things. At the same time I was running a business in Buckhead and working there in the evenings and weekends. I was certain I would be fired during first week of January, 2000.
Success in the rear view mirror can appear to be pre-determined. Maybe some of it is. But it sure didn’t feel like it.
this makes me and my friends (all us existential mid twenties ppl) feel a lot better about our uncertainty
I’m glad this was helpful, April. Even after you get the right degrees and the right jobs, there’s a lot of life to figure out and many mistakes to be made. You’re going to be fine!
yes! i have a number of friends who are heading to B school this fall, but for a lot of them i can sense it is delaying the inevitable which is making a claim on what direction is worth pursuing
ha ha, yes. Business school (and grad school in general) is useful for putting off the inevitable!
I'm in the same boat, and catching myself looking through the career path of people in my "ideal" direction (on LinkedIn). And it seems linear many times. And I wonder how they knew exactly what they wanted to do from the beggining. But I think it's a bias, they likely tried around, saw what they liked, and then commited to it. And maybe don't even mention career detours on LinkedIn, that could also be the case.
Reminds me of this concept, that we constantly -at any era- feel that the world is worse than it used to be 20 years ago, because at least for the past we know how it played out at the end. Whereas for the present we don't. Which makes it infinitely scarier.
Best of luck to us all <3
yep. It's also scarier becuase it's about *you*. Other people's journeys are theoretical. I wish you the best!
Great piece with a lot of truth to it. At 33, I love where I am in my career currently, and part of this affection is fueled by its almost-exclusively nonlinear path. Looking back, the COVID years were a crucial nexus that compelled me to ask myself how much work I was prepared to put in to build a life that energized me, even in the face of constant, ever-mutating uncertainty. Ultimately, I decided to keep it moving; in my mind, there was no other choice.
Six years on, I can see how that molten, singular desire to forge ahead spurred my own agentic cultivation, and I'm grateful to have learned such a valuable skill while I'm still relatively young. I feel like I can do anything now. In sum, riding out these fearful fits in youth can lead us down rich and meaningful paths if we are patient and consistent with ourselves.
love it! Keep going!
At 30 I had a child after several years of infertility (so we were behind our peers who already had kids), and then 6 months later I took a more challenging and exciting job with more upward mobility (so I really had to put my nose to the grindstone from 9 to 5 on top of having an infant from 5 to 9). I was in the moat of low status two times over. It was hard, but I learned so much.
Sending this to my brother who is about to graduate
Good luck to you both!
Great article! All the semiotics of comparison and life goals completed at 30 is dumb. It's the new 20's, especially if you live in a city.
Whether it's 20s or 40s, some things take time to figure out.
Great post
Thanks, Vikram.
Enjoyed this, thanks Paul. As someone in my early 30s working in startups / tech it’s helpful to hear how things looked for you around that age
Keep your head down, Will!
Why does it seem like every article written about this early to mid 30’s career transition/crisis is written by people who were making $250K and somehow still asking, “like, what's it all mean man?” Lmao. The humble brag of these people is so large it barely fits in the article
Because the people making $250k had invested $500k in their educations and were living in cities where rent + taxes + student loan payments—some people pay them back—sucked up 80% of their gross income, leaving them with little to spend on clothes or dates, and to feel as if they had little to brag about.
Your three options miss the mark for me. A week before my 30th birthday, my second child was born. My husband had his dream job and we just moved into a new house we built, literally. Today, we are happy grandparents. Pretty good, I think.