How Lizzo Will Help Trump Win in 2024

When I saw the news last week that Lizzo’s backup dancers are suing her for sexual discrimination and—irony of ironies—fat-shaming, my brain leapt to an immediate and terrifying conclusion: “This is why Donald Trump will win next year’s election.”

I promise I’ll explain this non-obvious, knee-jerk association, but before we proceed, a bit of background - I think Donald Trump is a terrible human and a proven threat to American democracy. I have never voted for him and never will. I do not want him back in the White House, ever.

That said, I only cast my ballot for Joe Biden in 2020 because he was the lesser of two bad choices. He gets older and weaker every day, and we might find out soon that he’s also pretty corrupt. But worst of all, I believe he is the puppet of a progressive left whose agenda is unhinged from reality. Their rigid ideological purity requirements will push swing voters back to the right or just depress us to the point we stay home on election day.

In contrast to the MAGA belief that America can do no wrong, progressives insist that America is hopelessly racist, classist, misogynist, and transphobic. This umbrella platform comes with required, sub-belief litmus tests to which one must agree, including but not limited to:

• Trans-men/women are the same as biological men/women,

• Whiteness is a disease,

• Student loan forgiveness is a grand idea, and, yes, that…

• Lizzo is a paragon of physical beauty.

These positions are not debatable. You can’t say, “Well, but…” or “Wait, I can show empathy and love toward a trans person yet not agree with your assessment,” or “I prefer women whose weight does not exceed their credit score.” You either endorse these positions without caveat, or you are a mouth-breathing troglodyte – a deplorable.

For years, journalists and social media pundits have promoted Lizzo as an icon of female empowerment and body positivity. React to intentionally provocative stunts like her boarding a private plane in a thong with anything other than unqualified approval, and you get called out by self-appointed morality watchdogs. Indeed, a mere acknowledgment of the singer’s corpulence is tantamount to an attack not just on overweight folks but also on women and black people, i.e., the Bermuda Triangle of protected classes.

If you’re not turned on, you’re a bad person.

Lizzo’s physique isn’t of much personal concern to me. I’m not the target market for her music, and I don’t make jokes at the expense of any of the aforementioned demographic groups. But don’t try to convince me that the sky is green and that your motives for doing so are high-minded.

Here is the inconvenient truth – in addition to being incredibly talented and charismatic, Lizzo is also excruciatingly fat, which isn’t a sin, but certainly isn’t a virtue. The CDC reports that the obesity epidemic costs the American healthcare system $173 billion annually, a cost we all share. Celebrating or even normalizing obesity weakens our society and threatens the health of future generations.

But worse than her physical ailments, we now know she’s also—allegedly—a hypocrite. Not only did she—probably—force her employees into awkward sexual situations, but she and her team—very likely—enforced different “body positivity” standards on those below her in the hierarchy of power. And that’s what it is all about.

The left dresses its mission in lofty terms but its philosophical demands are not based on a commitment to fairness, equity, or—least of all—kindness. Like religion, they use guilt and shame to acquire and retain power. As much as Trump uses the illusion of a perfect U.S.A. to secure his loyal following, the left traps the balance of citizens in its own arrogant moral cross-fire. Question the orthodoxy, and you prove yourself to be an irredeemable bigot who requires enlightenment.  

Moderates are tired of being gas-lit like this. You don’t have to be a Proud Boy to see that Dems have abandoned law and order. You don’t have to be a book-burner or Ron DeSantis not to want schools teaching queer theory to your first-grader. And you definitely don’t need to be an NRA Life Member to see that Hunter Biden is a scumbag.

Math doesn’t discriminate and 1+1 does not equal 3. But the more a party insists they do, the more relative credibility they grant to their equally insane opponents. (Sorry, “insane” is a problematic word.) Independents might not vote for Trump, but we are hungry for alternatives to the extremist duopoly. Perhaps this explains the momentum of someone as—shall we say—non-traditional as RFK Jr. whose presence on the ’24 ticket would be good news for the orange guy.

Political columnist George Will often reminded his readers that not everyone on the other side is a fool or a knave. Progressives would be wise to remember that not everyone who disagrees with them is a racist, misogynist, or transphobe. Clinging to their contrived moral high ground will alienate the precious voters in the middle, and we all know where that leads.

If we’re lucky, Queen Lizzo’s bad behavior will wake the left up before it’s too late. In the meantime, let’s be honest - the empress has no clothes. How I wish she would put some on.

THE END

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