I’m sitting in my car, looking over 25 acres of soccer fields where my son is practicing a sport he loves. I have the windows down, inviting in a little breeze and the sounds of kids and early teens running after a checkered ball. After practice, we’ll go home, eat some dinner, put the garbage cans on the street, watch a little TV, then go to bed.
In other words, it’s an ordinary day - not a particularly good or bad day. Actually, I’m a little annoyed with a creative project I can’t get off the ground and the guys painting our house were supposed to finish today but didn’t, which means I’m going to have to park on the street and that’s a pain.
And yet, today is an extraordinary day because no one I love is dying. My family is healthy. We have plenty to eat. Tonight, as we sleep in a warm, dry house on clean, white sheets, it’s virtually certain that savages won’t invade our home and murder us. Nor will bombs rain down on us from the skies. This is worth remembering.
Let’s be honest, there’s not a whole lot you can do to stop the deaths of innocent people in Israel and Gaza right now. The parties there have been at war for 75 years and the most powerful diplomats in the world have attempted and failed to come up with a solution. If Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, with the full weight of the United States government behind them, can’t make meaningful progress, then your thoughts, prayers, and protests probably won’t move the needle either.
Maybe the best thing we can do for the world, but definitely for ourselves, is to make the conscious choice to be grateful that we don’t live in a war zone. So while trivial annoyances clamor for my attention, I am taking this moment right here and now to remind myself: if things aren’t bad, they’re good. Very good.
If you’re reading this, it’s because your government permits the free exchange of ideas. You have a computer or a smartphone, running on a functioning electrical grid, and an equally functional brain that provides you with both the ability to reason and exceptionally good taste in writers. At least logistically, you’re in a good place.
Of course, myriad frustrations present themselves to us every day. Some a-hole cuts you off in traffic, something happens at the kids’ school that offends your political sensibilities, and no matter how you try, you cannot figure out how to work your new air fryer. Who would build such a nonsensical user interface?!
But never forget that real pain is all around you. Right up the street from the soccer fields is a Ronald McDonald House where parents of terminally ill children are barely holding it together. Somewhere on the sidelines is a person who just lost a parent or sibling. And the currently-stable political fabric that prevents us from killing each other should never be taken for granted.
All over Atlanta, historical markers call out significant events in the city’s history, the majority about events leading up to the Battle of Atlanta during the Civil War. There are so many of these signs—literally hundreds—that you stop noticing them.
I’m trying to notice – to stop and read, for example, about a group of young men not much older than my son who camped at Nancy Creek, which runs adjacent to these very soccer fields, a few days before marching south to a battlefield where thousands of them died in a single day 159 years ago.
When you find yourself stressed out by the haters and the users, catatonically bored by life’s minutiae, or caught in a vicious cycle of rumination and self-talk, try to zoom out. Some of you might be dealing with some very serious stuff in your life right now and, if so, I wish you strength. But if you’re not fighting off cancer or creditors, if you’re not dealing with death or divorce, if your house isn’t on fire and missiles aren’t heading toward your face, take five minutes to remember that your problems are quite manageable or—more likely—not problems at all.
Life so often feels like we’ve got sand in our underwear - as if, despite all we have, something isn’t quite right. Like, somewhere out there is a lost email account with all the opportunities that never found us, and things would be okay if we could just find that inbox. This is entirely self-created and the way to break out of it is to choose to acknowledge that you are above ground and lucky as fuck.
David Letterman asked Warren Zevon what the singer’s soon-to-be fatal mesothelioma had taught him about life, “from your perspective now, do you know something about life and death that maybe I don’t know?”
Zevon took a breath and responded, “Not unless I know how much you’re supposed to enjoy every sandwich.”
How brilliant. No one sandwich seems terribly significant until you recognize that—if you’re incredibly fortunate, as most of us are—life is just a series of sandwiches and naps and showers and shits and Zoom meetings and soccer practices. Whether these events are glorious or soul-crushing tedium depends entirely on our perspective.
So take the time to toast the bread on today’s turkey on wheat. Spread on a little extra mayo, and, hell, grab some lettuce and a fresh tomato from the fridge and slice it just the way you like it. When you take that first bite, savor the combination of textures and the small symphony of meat, salt, and fat hitting your taste buds all at the same time, and chew just a little longer than normal because this sandwich isn’t just a sandwich, it is a goddamn feast and proof that, at least for now, you are here.
Today’s a great day to be on the field of life. Get out there and play.
Happy Thanksgiving
(now keep reading below…)
Speaking of living in the moment, I thoroughly enjoyed speaking with actor Ed Begley Jr. for this week’s Crazy Money podcast. His memoir To the Temple of Tranquility…and Step on It! is a collection of joyous anecdotes about his career, family, addiction, recovery, and commitment to living in the moment.
COME SEE ME PERFORM LIVE and/or tell your friends who live in these places:
AUSTIN - Rozco’s Comedy Club on January 11. Get tickets here.
NASHVILLE - Zanies on Feb 28. Get tickets here.
More dates, not yet on sale…save the date!
ATLANTA - 12/1 at Laughing Skull Lounge
BLACK MOUNTAIN, NC - 12/30 White Horse Black Mountain
DUNWOODY COUNTRY CLUB - 1/25
SAN FRANCISCO - 2/22 at Cobb’s Comedy Club
PIEDMONT DRIVING CLUB - 3/20 w/Hank Denson
ATLANTA ATHLETIC CLUB - 4/18 with Andrew Stanley
WASHINGTON, DC - 4/19-20 at DC Comedy Lounge
DENVER - 5/3-4 at Denver Comedy Lounge
CARY, NC - 5/17 at The Cary Theater
That is all. Enjoy your turkey. (like, for real)